Which Are You?

One of my favourite poems. Heard it when it was read by a Director in McKinsey & Co. and immediately fell in love with it.

WHICH ARE YOU?

THERE are two kinds of people on earth to-day;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the sinner and saint, for it's well understood,
The good are half bad, and the bad are half good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man's wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life's little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

Not the happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.

No; the two kinds of people on earth I mean,
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go, you will find the earth's masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.

And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There's only one lifter to twenty who lean.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labor, and worry and care?

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox~


Dedicated to all those who are my lifters.....You have all been truly great friends and my rarest of jewels.

Mirage

MIRAGE

The hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.

I hang my harp upon a tree,
A weeping willow in a lake;
I hang my silenced harp there, wrung and snapt
For a dream's sake.

Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart;
My silent heart, lie still and break:
Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed
For a dream's sake.

~Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)~


Happy Chinese New Year to everyone and Happy Valentine's day (belated)!

The C-word~!!!!

The C-word!

Ouch, don't mention it again! Taboo?

No...just a word I associate with broken dreams..

Today, I bumped into a friend on the train whom I have not met for months. Well, we were happy to meet each other again(since I have only met him once when a friend took me out to meet his university friends) and the conversation on the train went well until that C-word reared its head out once awhile from my friend's lips....issshhhhh!!!

One girl friend of mine and I never really liked that word, mainly because we get so sick of hearing it. And for me, I tend to associate it with my broken dreams.Hence, it becomes a word I so adamantly don't want to hear.

I first heard of the C-word when I was 3. My mom used to tell me how difficult it was to get an English cert during her time from C******** and how getting in to C******** was difficult and how it was exclusive only to the very intelligent and bright people. That day, I told myself I would work hard and ensure that I will get in to C********* (Ah, a little girl's naive dream). As I grew older, C*********'s dream seemed to wither away as I learned that a lot of financial support was needed in order to get in to C*********. So no C******** for me nor any other foreign universities. There goes one broken dream.....

Another broken dream is when I didn't make it to my dream company, which has a lot of C-word people in it. And another broken dream is when...err...well, that one I'll keep for private space conversations. Hehehe....

p/s: To those who have built your dreams around C******** and then for one reason or another, they didn't materialize, take heart! There are still many dreams waiting to be fulfilled.

To the friend whom I bumped into today on the train, it was great seeing you again and I definitely enjoy the conversation we had. I do admire your university a lot, as much as I admire the people who have graduated from there. You are all truly remarkable in your own ways. Hope we'll meet again for yam cha.

Wedding Bells!

Wedding bells?

Mine?

Not yet.


Just over the weekend, I was attending Ken and Shireen's wedding in Penang. A red and passionate beach wedding. The couple entertained their guests with a splendid performance of what I would call a unique and sizzling hot dance, depicting their courtship. The climax of the day came when the couple exchanged their vows and the setting sun shone on them as they presented each other with a ring that would seal their marriage for life. (Ahh...how lovely!!!)

Ken's love story has encouraged me to trust God even more when it comes to marriage. Seeing how God has written so many interesting and great love stories for the couples in my church and observing how happy they are right now in serving God faithfully as husband and wife, it definitely gave me a fresh new perspective about the God who is the author of our lives. I believe God has carefully designed every detail in our lives, including who we meet, when we meet them, how we meet them, what events - successes, failures, death, the magnitude of each impact, everything! They are all carefully crafted by God with love. If only we can place that complete trust in Him and let go....He will lead us to the best He wants us to have.

As I watched Ken and Shireen gazed at each other's eyes, and was recalling the story Ken shared, I can't help thinking about the song Sarah introduced to me and promised to sing on my wedding day - When God made you.

It has always been a mystery to me
How two hearts can come together
And love can last forever
And now that I have found you, I believe
That a miracle has come
When God sends the perfect one
Now gone are all my questions about why
And I've never been so sure of anything in my life....

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me...



When God made me, He must have been thinking about you....
Wouldn't you like to have the God of love and the God who created love writes you a love story?

Sam, Me, Ken, Shireen and Sarah

With the bride

The red, chilly hot people

The God of Favouritism?

I hear so often of other people's lives, vociferously declaring of the successes and blessings they have received. A Cambridge education, a big house, healthy parents, happy family, wealth in an abundant supply, international career opportunities, favour from bosses and colleagues, good looks, hot girls / guys as their girlfriends / boyfriends ..... and the list goes on...

Sounds familiar? Definitely! When I was a child, I read about my favourite Bible character King David, the man after God's heart...He was blessed with everything - wealth, health, skills, looks, wisdom, safety, victory and even a throne and the entire country was his! As much as I admire him, I also struggled with the thought that God really favored him over many other people in the world. This has led me to think, will God favor some other Christians more than me? Will He love them more than me and endow upon them rich gifts and blessings?

If another Christian gets his heart's desires and things are all working out for him....does that mean that this person loves God more than I do, hence received more blessings? At the threshold of this thought, I instantly felt insecure and got myself into a web of more confusing questions. Thankfully, Pastor Wong came to the rescue. Here are the few things that entirely clear my doubts and misconceptions and things I have learnt:

1) God gives good things to all His children according to His infinite wisdom.
That means if He thinks going to that dream company of yours is going to make you proud and that you might drift away from Him and ultimately harm you, He will definitely not give it to you even though that seems like a blessing to you.

2) God's love is not measured based on how much we love Him or how godly we are or how much time we have been committed to His ministries.
He loves us uncondtionally, and remember He first loved us. Blessings is not measured by how much you love God or how many good things you have done.

3) Not having all those good things or your dreams doesn't always mean you are not blessed.
Pain can be a blessing, hardships can be one too if God uses it to shape who He wants you to be. God doesn't bless people based on what we would define as blessings.

and the last thing I learned...

4) Sometimes having all those good things may not always mean that the person is blessed.
We are only looking at things from the surface and even if he is blessed, that's a good thing. All the more we should rejoice with him instead of dwelling in some shallow jealousy.

Looking back, I know I am blessed in so many ways. Instead of wallowing in the pool of jealousy, I am learning to be grateful each day for the little, humble and simple things in life. I know very well that my Master takes good care of me.

Platonic Friendships vs. Romantic Relationships

Platonic - free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.

(platonic. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved January 24, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/platonic )

Is there such a thing as platonic relationship? A friendship between a male and a female so strong but there is no romantic love / feeling, chemistry or infatuation involved? Or do you believe there is a chemistry between these two persons? Or do you believe that this friendship will develop into love and a romantic relationship later on?

If it exists, can it co-exist between two persons who have their respective love relationship? Can our minds and hearts be so clear to distinguish romantic love and friendship that we will not cheat on our spouses?

All these strings of questions often run through my head. I wonder if anyone has ever had a platonic relationship and has been remaining so for many years.

I have a male friend whom I am extremely close to and we can talk about anything under the sun. We are friends for so many years now and we have definitely developed a mutual admiration and respect for another. We often speak so fondly and proudly of each other's achivements to our friends. There is no doubt we know each other's weaknesses and strengths and sometimes even before I say a thing, my 'platonic' friend knew exactly what I wanted. That is how well he knows me. When we are together, friends will say we looked like a couple in love....simply because we connect so well.

Not surprisingly, friends and family constantly warn me of losing a possible 'romantic' relationship should I grip steadfastly onto this 'platonic' friendship. I never allowed those warnings to restrain this friendship from flourishing until recently, those warnings seem real and true...

Yes, they may be right that I might have lost a possible relationship with the guy of my dreams because of this platonic relationship, especially if both boys are buddies. If that is so, I have no regrets. It's all about trusting each other and if trust is not one of the fundamental elements to a romantic and lasting relationship, then I suppose no such romantic relationship can last and the guy / girl is simply not worth it.

I do not possess the answers to all the above questions mentioned earlier. The future is vast open with possibilities. A platonic relationship might develop into a romantic one or not. I wouldn't know. Either way, I will not allow it to develop, if I am already in a relationship with someone else. That's very clear within me.

I am thankful for this friend and am certainly happy to be in this friendship. To pay a price and to forego a friendship of which it took so long, so many years, so many phone calls and so much effort to develop, I will definitely think twice to forego it and I hope never to have to make that sort of decision of only choosing one....

Avec "Il Divo"

Life is always so unpredictable.....no....I am always so unpredictable. I used not to admire boy bands at all. I used to think ... that they are just a bunch of lucky guys who somehow can sing a note or two and get themselves walking in the hall of fame because of their pretty faces. To me, there was nothing to admire in them - no musical talent, no sweet voices. As usual, I am unpredictable. I went all the way to Singapore to catch the Il Divo, a so-called boyband. I must say, I do not regret a bit, although there were some glitches in the performance, it was nevertheless a splendid performance and definitely very soothing to the ear. The orchestra and a 4-piece band together with the Il Divo powerful voices just swept me off my feet. The drummer was soo good that after the performance, I intend to add the talent in playing drums as my no. 6-criteria in my Top 5 must-haves for my life partner. Thanks to Sarah for accompanying me there and it's so unpredictable that I will have this chance with you to see il divo live concert and it's so unpredictable that music can bond us together.
Singapore was great! Thanks to Aunty Bernice for her good hospitality and great conversations and to Sarah's cousins and aunt for a great time as well as to my cousin for the short meet-up and lunch!

To all those who are still considering whether you should be listening to il divo, try them. Good music and great singers and they might be singing one of your favourite pop songs too..... in an operatic way.

At Orchard Road

Posers

Embarrassing ourselves

I will only do this once in a lifetime

With Sarah's cousins

Sarah and I at the Singapore National Stadium

Welcoming Avec Moi

Being an IT-illiterate, I found myself lagging behind my friends by a few cycles of centuries. They have all progressed to a sophisticated level of blogging and I have just started Avec Moi. I used to think blogging is an activity for professional time-wasters, who want to add more junk to the internet community (as if we have not had enough of those junks) , but after much cajoling from an active blogger who constantly assures me she will be my ardent reader, I finally gave in. I am not sure, if this will be of good use to anyone a century from now, or it will be burnt, discarded away before it reaches a century old or be simply left in a corner of this internet world to rot away, but I've decided to start blogging, nevertheless, to feel what it's like (and to be in the trend) but also with a hope that it will be able to touch and help a life or two out there.

So here it is ... I present to you -- Avec Moi, simply means With Me in French. Especially dedicated to friends and family who have been with me through thick and thin and for those who are far away, Avec Moi is one window to peep into my life and be With Me.....